A Shot of Scotch

Three mice are sitting at a bar in a pretty rough
neighborhood late at night trying to impress
each other about how tough they are.

The first mouse pounds a shot of scotch, slams
the glass onto the bar, turns to the second
mouse and says, "When I see a mousetrap, I
lie on my back and set it off with my foot. When
the bar comes down, I catch it in my teeth, bench
press it twenty times to work up an appetite, and
then make off with the cheese."

The second mouse orders up two shots of sour
mash, pounds them both, slams each glass onto
the bar, turns to the first mouse, and replies,
"Yeah, well when I see rat poison, I collect as
much as I can, take it home, grind it up to a powder,
and add it to my coffee each morning so I can get
a good buzz going for the rest of the day."

The first mouse and the second mouse then turn
to the third mouse.

The third mouse lets out a long sigh and says to
the first two, "I don't have time for this. I've got a
date with the cat."

"WHICH ONE OF YOU FOOL STOLE MY HOSS?"

A cowboy rode into town and stopped at local cafe for a coke.

Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on strangers,

which he was. When he finished his drink, he found his horse had

been stolen.

He goes back into the cafe, handily flips his gun into the air, catches it

above his head without even looking and fires a shot into the ceiling.

"WHICH ONE OF YOU FOOLS  STOLE MY HOSS?" he yelled with surprising forcefulness. No one answered.

"ALRIGHT, I'M GONNA HAVE ANOTHA COKE, AND IF MY HOSS AIN'T

BACK OUTSIDE BY THE TIME I FINNISH, I'M GONNA DO WHAT I

DUN IN TEXAS! AND I DON'T LIKE TO HAVE TO DO WHAT I DUN IN

TEXAS!"

Some of the locals shifted restlessly.

He had another coke, walked outside, and his horse is back!

He saddles-up and starts to ride out of town.

The cook wanders out of the cafe and asks, "Say partner,

before you go... what happened in Texas?"

The cowboy turned back and said, "I had to walk home

Maa Kasam, Bahut Kharcha Ho Gaya !!!

Shah Jahan Ne Taj Mahal Ki Har Deewar Ko Dekha, Har Meenar Ko Dekha, Har Kaleen Ko Dekha, Har Khidki Se Dekha... Aur Bola... Maa Kasam, Bahut Kharcha Ho Gaya !!!

 

Shab A Barat

 

 

A Letter from Michael Moore to George W. Bush

A Letter from Michael Moore to George W. Bush on the Eve of War

by Michael Moore

George W. Bush

1600 Pennsylvania Ave.

Washington, DC

Dear Governor Bush:

So today is what you call "the moment of truth," the day that "France and the rest of world have to show their cards on the table." I'm glad to hear that this day has finally arrived. Because, I gotta tell ya, having survived

440 days of your lying and conniving, I wasn't sure if I could take much more. So I'm glad to hear that today is Truth Day, 'cause I got a few truths I would like to share with you:

1. There is virtually NO ONE in America (talk radio nutters and Fox News aside) who is gung-ho to go to war. Trust me on this one. Walk out of the

White House and on to any street in America and try to find five people who are PASSIONATE about wanting to kill Iraqis. YOU WON'T FIND THEM! Why?

'Cause NO Iraqis have ever come here and killed any of us! No Iraqi has even threatened to do that. You see, this is how we average Americans think: If a certain so-and-so is not perceived as a threat to our lives, then, believe

it or not, we don't want to kill him! Funny how that works!

2. The majority of Americans -- the ones who never elected you -- are not fooled by your weapons of mass distraction. We know what the real issues are that affect our daily lives -- and none of them begin with I or end in Q. Here's what threatens us: two and a half million jobs lost since you took office, the stock market having become a cruel joke, no one knowing if their

retirement funds are going to be there, gas now costs almost two dollars -- the list goes on and on. Bombing Iraq will not make any of this go away. Only you need to go away for things to improve.

3. As Bill Maher said last week, how bad do you have to suck to lose a popularity contest with Saddam Hussein? The whole world is against you, Mr. Bush. Count your fellow Americans among them.

4. The Pope has said this war is wrong, that it is a SIN. The Pope! But even worse, the Dixie Chicks have now come out against you! How bad does it have

to get before you realize that you are an army of one on this war? Of course, this is a war you personally won't have to fight. Just like when you went AWOL while the poor were shipped to Vietnam in your place.

5. Of the 535 members of Congress, only ONE (Sen. Johnson of South Dakota) has an enlisted son or daughter in the armed forces! If you really want to

stand up for America, please send your twin daughters over to Kuwait right now and let them don their chemical warfare suits. And let's see every member of Congress with a child of military age also sacrifice their kids

for this war effort. What's that you say? You don't THINK so? Well, hey, guess what -- we don't think so either!

6. Finally, we love France. Yes, they have pulled some royal screw-ups. Yes, some of them can pretty damn annoying. But have you forgotten we wouldn't even have this country known as America if it weren't for the French? That it was their help in the Revolutionary War that won it for us? That our greatest thinkers and founding fathers -- Thomas Jefferson, Ben Franklin, etc. -- spent many years in Paris where they refined the concepts that lead to our Declaration of Independence and our Constitution? That it was France who gave us our Statue of Liberty, a Frenchman who built the Chevrolet, and

a pair of French brothers who invented the movies? And now they are doing what only a good friend can do -- tell you the truth about yourself, straight, no b.s. Quit pissing on the French and thank them for getting it right for once. You know, you really should have traveled more (like once) before you took over. Your ignorance of the world has not only made you look stupid, it has painted you into a corner you can't get out of.

Well, cheer up -- there IS good news. If you do go through with this war, more than likely it will be over soon because I'm guessing there aren't a lot of Iraqis willing to lay down their lives to protect Saddam Hussein.

After you "win" the war, you will enjoy a huge bump in the popularity polls as everyone loves a winner -- and who doesn't like to see a good ass-whoopin' every now and then (especially when it 's some third world ass!). So try your best to ride this victory all the way to next year's

election. Of course, that's still a long ways away, so we'll all get to have a good hardy-har-har while we watch the economy sink even further down the toilet!

But, hey, who knows -- maybe you'll find Osama a few days before the election! See, start thinking like THAT! Keep hope alive! Kill Iraqis -- they got our oil!!

Yours, Michael Moore

http://www.michaelmoore.com

Visit our website at

http://www.ubswarburg.com

(BANDER TAMASHA)

In Pakistan, it is a fashion to break law and get away with from miner innocent mistake to murder, depend how fat your pocket is.

Once a delegation from France came to Pakistan to access improvements in its life style and people behaviour

One morning , In Pakistani heat of June, July, standing on closed railways crossing (PHHATAK), waiting for rail to crass, they saw a man come on his cycle right up to bearer, get off from cycle in hurry, lift his bike over his head put it on other side of bearer, while seeing the train is coming he shot across the railway lines and do the same on other side of bearer

Pakistani who was host of this delegation, told the delegation “look this bike man is so eager to go to work , he must be getting late from his work that’s why he did not care about his life, and put his life on risk to get to work”

Frenchman says to his colleague “this nation will rise very high one day”

Railway crossing open, all go, every body were in surprised, when they saw that bike man was watching road side Monkey show (BANDER TAMASHA)

What ever Pakistan is we are loving it

are you gonna keep me waiting

 

http://www.geocities.com/soulmatesingle/index.html

http://www.geocities.com/cartoongirlsfetish/index.html

share the natural lifestyle and make new friends here

 

12 pound nugget

In a South American mining district Mrs. Brown presented her
husband with a 12 pound baby boy. Mr. Brown was so delighted
that he went to the News office and told that he had found a
12 pound nugget of gold as good as any to be found in South
America. The paper, naturally, sent a reporter to get
particulars. This is what happened:
 
Reporter:  Does Mr. Brown live here?
Mrs.Brown: He does.
Reporter:  Is he in?
Mrs.Brown: No he isn't.
Reporter:  I understand he found a nugget of gold weighing
12 pounds.
Mrs.Brown: (Seeing the joke) Yes.
Reporter:  Can you show me the exact location where it was
found?
Mrs.Brown: I'm afraid Mr. Brown would object as it is
private.
Reporter:  Is the hole far from here?
Mrs.Brown: No, it is quite handy.
Reporter:  Has Mr. Brown been working the claim long?
Mrs.Brown: Almost ten months.
Reporter:  Was Mr. Brown the first to work it?
Mrs.Brown: He thought he was.
Reporter:  Was the work difficult?
Mrs.Brown: It was at first but easier after the shaft
opened.
Reporter:  Is the water plentiful?
Mrs.Brown: Yes, sufficient to carry on the work.
Reporter:  Has he gotten to the bottom yet?
Mrs.Brown: No, but quite near it.
Reporter:  Do you think there are any more nuggets?
Mrs.Brown: Yes, if the claim is properly worked.
Reporter:  Has he worked it since he found the nugget?
Mrs.Brown: No, but I told him it was time to start.
Reporter:  Do you help him?
Mrs.Brown: I do my level best.
Reporter:  Do you think he will sell the claim?
Mrs.Brown: No, he finds too much pleasure in working it
himself.
Reporter:  Can I see the nugget?
Mrs.Brown: Certainly.

She brought the baby in for inspection. The embarrassed
reporter departed very fast.

Life Insurance Policy

Jill was discussing the various aspects and possible
outcome of the Insurance policy with the clerk at the
Insurance Agency.

During the discussion, she asked, "Suppose I take the
life insurance for my husband today and tomorrow he
dies? What will I get?"

The clerk eyed her suspiciously and replied, "A Life
Sentence"

Politicians

Once upon a time, in a nice little forest, there lived an orphaned bunny and an orphaned snake. A surprising coincidence was that both were blind since birth.

One day, the bunny was hopping through the forest, and the snake was slithering through the forest, when the bunny tripped over the snake and fell down. This, of course, knocked the snake about quite a bit.

"Oh, my," said the bunny, "I'm terribly sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I've been blind since birth, so I can't see where I'm going. In fact, since I'm also an orphan, I don't even know what I am."

"It's quite okay," replied the snake. "Actually, my story is much the same as yours. I, too, have been blind since birth, and also never knew my mother."

"Tell you what, maybe I could kinda slither over you, and figure out what you are, so at least you'll have that going for you."

"Oh, that would be wonderful," replied the bunny.

So the snake slithered all over the bunny, and said, "Well, you're covered with soft fur; you have really long ears; your nose twitches; and you have a soft cottony tail. I'd say that you must be a bunny."

"Oh, thank you! Thank you," cried the bunny in obvious excitement.

"Maybe I could feel you with my paw, and help you the same way you've helped me."

So the bunny felt the snake all over, and remarked, "Well, you're scaly and slimy, and you have a forked tongue, and no backbone. I'd say you must be a politician."

MEERAJ UN NABI

Last night 100 t0 150 people gather in White Sowan road Mosque to celebrate the MEERAJ UN NABI

Molana Javid Malik and few other Molanas shed light on MEERAJ UN NABI after speeches Molana Saleem who is chair man of AL HAJAZ TRUST invited president of New Zealand Milad committee , Shaikh Mushtaq to announce and invite all Muslim brother and sister at Al MUSTAFFA Mosque 26 Mangrere road , OTTAHUHU on Saturday 18thof September, function will start 5 PM

In his speech MP Ch Ashraf said that he and his govt is pledge to give maximum freedom to all religions as long as it is a peace full practices, he said we should avoid religious clashes and live peacefully and harmoniously in beautiful land of New Zealand

At the end Molana call upon Jamshade UL Hussen, care taker of Mosque, to thank all the gathering and guests, in his brief speech Mr Hussen said , we bought this building to convert it in to Mosque, it is big project and big project need big money, with the help of generous people of community we are shaping this building in to mosque, in face to face meeting with Sohni Dharti Mr Hussen showed Sohni Dharti, the progress of last year, in which I saw and happy to see that we have toilet, bath room and place for WOOZOO in Mosque

Mr Hussen said he wants to make an appeal through Sohni Dharti that we need 280 people, who can donate $1000 each, to pay off this Mosque at once

Talking with Sohni Dharti Molana Saleem, Chairman of AL HAJAZ trust it an obligation of every Muslim to help , which ever way someone can, physically, financially, materially

TAX TAXI AND TURNOVER

 

  

Kahlil Gibran

Some Of Verses from “Of Wisdom” from the 2nd treasury of Kahlil Gibran

Knowledge and understanding are life’s faithful companions who will never prove untrue to you. For knowledge is your crown, and understanding your staff; and when they are with you, you can possess no greater treasures.

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911 1948

Mohammed Ali Jinnah

Founder and leader of Pakistan

Birth December 25, 1876

Death September 11, 1948

Place of Birth Karachi, British India (now Pakistan)

Official Title Governor-general

Term 1947-1948

Known for Leading the fight to create Pakistan as an independent state for Indian Muslims

Milestones 1896 Was admitted to the bar in Bombay after completing legal studies in London

1906 Served as a private secretary to Dadabhai Naoroji, president of the Indian National Congress, the party which led the independence drive for India

1916 Became president of the Muslim League, and negotiated the Lucknow Pact with the Indian National Congress, providing safeguards for India's Muslim minority

1920 Resigned from the Indian National Congress after Mohandas Gandhi began his campaign of noncooperation, which Jinnah thought to be too radical

1931-1934 Practiced law in London and withdrew from Indian politics

1934 Returned to India to resume presidency of the Muslim League, fearing that Indian Muslims would be mistreated by a Hindu-dominated government after India became independent

1940 Adopted the goal of creating a separate nation of Pakistan for Indian Muslims as the official policy of the Muslim League

1947 Forced Hindu and British colonial leaders to agree to the creation of Pakistan by refusing to soften his demands as riots between Hindus and Muslims occurred throughout India

Did You Know Jinnah was gravely ill during the final negotiations for the creation of Pakistan; he died just over a year after it achieved independence.

Tensions between Hindus and Muslims and Jinnah's own disagreement with India's Hindu leaders led him to abandon his lifelong goal of Hindu-Muslim unity for India.

Jinnah spent much of his youth in Britain, and did not learn to speak Urdu, the language of most Indian Muslims.

Unlike the other leaders of the independence movement in India, Jinnah preferred tailored suits to traditional rough cotton attire.

Welcome to Pakistan

One hand on steering wheel, one hand out of window. - Sydney

One hand on steering wheel, one hand on horn - Japan

One hand on steering wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot
solidly on accelerator.- Boston

Both hands on steering wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake,
shaking in terror - New York

Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator,
head turned to talk to someone in back seat - Italy

One hand on horn, one hand greeting, one ear on cell phone,
one ear listening to loud music, foot on accelerator, eyes on female
pedestrians, conversation with someone in next car - Welcome to
Pakistan!

Father Day

 

Urdu Khirrkiyaan 2004!

Microsoft Plans To Release A Windows Version In Urdu. Here Are
Some Windows Terms That May Be Used In Urdu Khirrkiyaan 2004!

 

 

File = Darkhwaast
Save = Bachao
Save As = Aisay Bachao
Save All = Subko Bachao
Help = Mujhay Bachao
Find = Dhoondo
Find Again = Phir Say Dhoondo
Move = Hillao
Open = Kholo
Close = Dafa Karo
New = Naya
Old = Khatara
Replace = Badli Karo
Run = Bhaago
Print = Chaapo
Print Preview = Dekh Kay Chaapo
Copy = Naqal Karo
Cut = Qatal Karo
Paste = Chipkao
Paste Special = Zor Say Chipkao
Mail = Daak
Mailer = Daakia
Tools = Auzaar
Toolbar = Auzaar Khumba
Compress = Thoonso
Mouse = Chooha
Zoom In = Ainak Utaar Kay Dekho
Zoom Out = Ainak Laga Kar Dekho
Delete All = Sub Ko Goli Maaro
Exit = Apnay Aap Ko Goli Maaro :p               

Rootay Rootay

 

‘Hindustanis, Pakistanis Bhai, Bhai’ in the making

By Syed Qamar Abbas

The News, June 13, 14, 15, 2004

RAWALPINDI: The people of India want free interaction with the people of Pakistan. Gestures of friendship emanate from all whether they are Hindus or Sikhs, civilians or low-level officials. Many of them long for visiting Pakistan without facing any visa curbs and want the same for Pakistanis who intend to tour India. The enemy perception, which had stained relations between the two South Asian neighbours for over 50 years, does not exist at the people’s level. The stage is set for the phrase ‘Hindustanis, Pakistanis Bhai, Bhai’ to emerge as a popular slogan.

KALAM:: USTAD DAMAN