Punjabi and Pushto

FOR THE LAST TWO DECADES. THE FILM INDUSTRY HAS BEEN DOMINATED BY THE PUNJABI AND PUSHTO FILMS, SO I WOULD LIKE TO TELL YOU ABOUT THEM.

PUNJABI FILMS ARE A GREAT WORK OF ART. IN NEARLY ALL OF THEM, THE SAME STORY REPEATED. EACH FILM USUALLY STARTS WITH INCREADIBLE CAMERA WORK WHERE THE SUN IS SHOWN RISING FROM BEHIND A KALASHINKOV OR A COW, OR A TIGHTLY CLAD "JATTEE" IS SHOWN RUNNING IN THE VILLAGE FIELDS CHASED BY A GROUP OF LANDLORDS. IN THE VERY NEXT SCENE, THE HERO’S MOTHER IS SHOWN CRYING FOR HELP. NOW THIS CALL REACHES SULTAN RAHI, THE HERO OF THE FILM, SITTING SOME HUNDRED MILES AWAY ROMANCING WITH ANJUMAN. THE MOTHER’S CALL WAKES UP THE "GAIRUT" AND HE THROWS AWAY ANJUMAN AND JUMPS UP ON A HORSE AND ARRIVES AT HIS MOTHER’S SIDE WITH THE SPEED OF LIGHT. HE STARTS FIGHTING WITH THE VILLAINS AND KILLS MORE THAN TWENTY PEOPLE IN JUST 10 SECONDS WITH HIS GOLD PLATED "GUNDASSA". NOW A BIT ABOUT HIS HORSE. THIS HORSE COVERS THE DISTANCE FROM LAHORE TO KARACHI IN ONLY 6.5 SECONDS, WHICH SHOWS IT IS EVEN FASTER THAN DR QADEER’S MISSLE.

NOW LETS GO BACK TO THE FILM. AFTER AN ENERGY SAPPING SCENE OF VIOLENCE, THE HERO IS ALL SET TO DO A SONG SEQUENCE WITH ANJUMAN IN THE RAIN (IN LAHORE AGAIN!). SULTAN RAHI IS WEARING A YELLOW "LACHA" WITH ALL SORTS OF FLOWERS PRINTED ON IT. THE HEROINE IS TRYING TO GET THE ATTENTION OF THE HERO. THE WHOLE SCENE IS LIKE WATCHING A BABY ELEPHANT DANCING AND JUMPING IN THE FIELDS. SHE IS SINGING MELODIUS SONGS LIKE, "MAINOON NA WIKHA,MAYRA MOOD BANAY", AND ACTION PACKED SONGS LIKE, "MAIN HUSSAN DEE, KALASHANIKOV JINNAY MARZEE KAR LAY FAAYAR".

IN THE END, THERE IS A FINAL FIGHT BETWEEN THE HERO AND THE VILLAIN, WHICH STARTS WITH THUDEROUS THREATS AND ENDS IN A POOL OF BLOOD. IN ALMOST FOUR HUNDRED FILMS THE SAME SCENE IS USED FOR THE LAST FIGHT, WHERE SULTAN RAHI’S MOTHER IS KIDNAPPED AND SULTAN RAHI GOES TO MUSTAFA QURESHI ‘S HOUSE AND SAYS, " MAINOON MAYRI MAAN DA DUPATTA VAAPAS KAR DAY", WITH THE OBVIOUS REPLY, "BARRA BAYGHAIRUT HAI-DUPATTA MUNGDA HAI, MAAN NAHEE".

AFTER THIS THRILLING SCENE, THE VILLAIN DIES AND THE HERO, DESPITE RECEIVING MULTIPLE BULLT INJURIES, MANAGES TO SURVIVE AND IS UNITED WITH HISBELOVED HERIONE TO LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER.