“Ramadhan is the (month) in which was sent down the Qur'an, as a guide to mankind, also clear (Signs) for guidance and judgment (Between right and wrong). So every one of you who is present (at his home) during that month should spend it in fasting, but if any one is ill, or on a journey, the prescribed period (Should be made up) by days later. Allah intends every facility for you; He does not want to put to difficulties. (He wants you) to complete the prescribed period, and to glorify Him in that He has guided you; and perchance ye shall be grateful.
(Al-Qur'an, 2:185 (Al-Baqara [The Cow])
Practical Guide to Ramadan for Children
The blessed month of Ramadan is a gift from Allah for the Muslims to purify themselves from their all past sins and negligent actions. Various authentic hadith states that all our past sins are forgiven in this month. We also have the blessed Night of Power (Laylatul Qadr) to earn virtues of 1000 months during Ramadan. Much has been written about the virtues of this month and we all possess considerable knowledge as well.
I want to discus some pratical things we can do with our children. Far too often, when it comes to religious matters, we get very serious, especially with our children. We tend to separate religion from rest of our lives, forgetting that our beloved Prophet Muhammad (saw) never taught us to have double life; one religious and one secular. Because how we portray religious affairs to our children, they often view complying with them more as punishment from parents than our duty toward Allah. I have seen parents making their children doing extra prayer or recitation of Quran as a form of punishment for something he/she may have done. No wonder so many children grow up viewing praying/reciting as punishment!
On the contrary, that was not how our beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessing of Allah upon him) was. He was a jolly person who often laughed and even made jokes, even with children!
Narrated Anas bin Malik (r), The Prophet (s) used to mix with us to the extent that he would say to a younger brother of mine (he had a bird called Umair), "O father of Umair! What you did to the Nughair (a kind of bird)?" [Sahih al-Bukhari, Vol. 8, #150]
The hadith doesn't sound “funny” if you do not know the background of the hadith. Anas bin Malik (r) himself was quite young and he is referring to a younger brother of his who had a bird called Umair. However Umair died and the younger brother would not stop crying. When the prophet came, he jokingly addressed the younger brother as “father of Umair” (or father of the bird!) and rhymed Nughair with Umair. Now, of course we are dealing with translation here, also what was said was at a different time and different geographical place. So the humor may be lost a bit in translation.
The fact, however remains, that our prophet had a sense of humor. So did his companions.
Narrated 'Uqba bin Al-Harith: I saw Abu Bakr carrying Al-Hasan and saying, "Let my father be sacrificed for you; you resemble the Prophet and not 'Ali," while 'Ali was laughing at this. [Sahih al-Bukhari, Vol. 5, 93]
There are many other Hadiths out there that shows the sense of humor, jolly nature of the Prophet of Allah and his companions and the love and compassion between them.
The Prophet also advised us to speak to people at their level. Therefore it is only normal that we should communicate with our children at their level. We should try to raise their interest about Islam and not try to shove it down their throat. Unless the children develop genuine interest in Islam, the long-term outlook is not good. How long can you really force them to pray or fast, if they do not develop any understanding or desire for those themselves?
Last year, while I was still in USA, we were trying to convince my then 8-year-old nephew to fast only half a day. We temped him with different things if he fasts for half a day, yet he wouldn’t fast! He had some fear inside about going without food for much of the day and he just wasn’t ready for it. We of course didn’t push him anymore to fast. This year things were different. Before Ramadan, he asked my mother to know when is Ramadan starting, and when my mother asked him, if he would fast, he said yes. For whatever reason he was just ready this time around. He has already fasted the first few days of Ramadan and ready to fast some more, Alhamdulillah! So instead of pushing our children to do something that they are not ready, it is always best to be a good role model for them to emulate. If we carry ourselves like the way we should as a good Muslim (I mean a good Muslim in the complete sense), then rest assured that chances are your children will follow your footsteps sooner or later.
I want focus here on our children and how we can engage them during Ramadan, making things interesting, fun and joyous, even if they are not fasting. They need to understand Ramadan is not only abstaining from food (the adults need to understand it even more!) but there is much more about Ramadan.
The ideas below are not all my; some are mine, some I have modified; the original is from www.soundvision. com.
1. Hold a family meeting about Ramadan
A week before Ramadan, hold a family meeting to explain what Ramadan is, that the sighting of the moon indicates it’s beginning, what Muslims do and how the family's schedule will change. Also ask for suggestions of what everyone would like to do during the month. For instance, may be set up a specific goal for the month such as fasting a certain number of days, or memorize few suras, etc. Be creative and let the children speak!
2. Welcome the month with balloons, banners and more
Say "Ramadan Mubarak" with the standard party fare: balloons, a great banner and decorations galore. Get the kids to help decorate the house and ask for their ideas and suggestions so they feel included. People decorate the house for many occasions, so why not for Ramadan!
3. Tell a Ramadan story during bedtime every night
Don't just rely on children's books about Ramadan to share stories. Describe what Ramadan was like when you were a kid. You can also make some tales up with your child as the main character in a Ramadan adventure!
4. Let them fast even a quarter of the day and celebrate
Kids often want to fast as they see their parents and older siblings do. This year, let them fast for a couple of hours. Prepare a special "Iftar" for them when they break fast with a couple of their favorite foods. In time, the couple of hour of fasting will turn into a complete fasting. So many of us started our fasting that way. I know I have!
5. Make Ramadan arts and crafts at home
Art is a great way to learn more about Ramadan. Have the kids make the different shapes of the moon and show which one indicates the beginning of the month, which one the middle and which one the end; have them make special Ramadan placemats for the dinner table.
6. Remember the poor
Explain to the children that there are many poor and less fortunate ones out there that are fasting everyday of their life! For them Ramadan is year around, 365 days a year, not just a special month where special foods are served. Have the children involved in donating food, money and clothing to the poor and needy.
7. Spend time with the children
Do not spend all your time outside the house at Masjid or other places. Spend time with your children for some time every single day. Have a family gathering each night (even a 10-15 minute one is great) and discuss how their day went and share some information about Ramadan or any Islamic topic. Remember, you are dealing with children. Speak at their level. Make it enjoyable and fun for them. Make sure that they enjoy this and not consider it as a punishment.
8. Make and send homemade Ramadan cards
Before the month starts, have an arts and crafts session to make Ramadan Mubarak cards for siblings, grandparents, aunts and uncles. Send the cards soon though, time's running out!
9. Take them to Tarawih prayer
Nothing teaches community spirit like congregational prayer. Take the kids with you to the mosque for Tarawih prayer occasionally, even if they stay for only few Rakats.
10. Help them understand the true meaning of Ramadan
Children need to understand that Ramadan is not just abstaining from food during the daytime, and then having a HUGE meal for Iftar or the typical shopping spree that everyone gets into in this month. Help them see the true beauty of Ramadan (and Islam). The only way you can do it if YOU are doing it yourself.
These are just some suggestions. They can be modified to adjust to the family needs. I would like to hear from you, if you have more practical tips for children during RAMADAN
Remember, you are dealing with children. Make things interesting, fun, and joyous for them. And always speak at their level!
SHAHJI
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