Pirate"

In a restaurant one day, a pirate was talking to
the waiter.  The waiter asked him, "Why do you
have a peg leg?"

The pirate answered, "Back when I was sailing
the seas, a big shark noticed me swimming one
day and bit off me leg."

"Well, then how did you get the hook?" the waiter
asked, pointing to the place where the pirate's left
hand used to be.

The pirate responded, "Well, me crew and myself
were engaged in a rough battle one day and me
hand was cut off by a slimy coward's sword."

The waiter looked at the hook for a moment. "Well
now I have to ask how you got the eye patch."

The pirate snarled, "I looked at a gull flying overhead
in the harbor one day and it took a dump right in me
eye."

The waiter was puzzled by this last explanation.
"How would that make you get an eye patch?"

The pirate responded, "Well, first day with me hook."